What next?

       In reality, I am a little girl wearing pigtails that clings to her mother's hand in fright. I pretend to be mature, strong, independant, but...some things have to be a pretense before they become reality. I won't say I'm unable.
       This whole college deal makes me feel like a twelve-year-old who walks into a bar and orders a drink. Very small, on that barstool of life. But I can't pretend--I just have to believe in myself. And that (for me, at least) is akin to climbing mount Everest. With no oxygen tank. But...I won't have to do it alone.
       I fell out of my mother's nest rather suddenly a few weeks ago and began to enter a stage in my life with absolutely no supervision. "FFREEDOOMMM!!"
That was the jist of my thoughts. Heh. I squeaked it with eyes wide with fright, as I boarded the bus headed towards independent education. Frankly, I'm scared. The responsibilities and experiences of adulthood are in view...just not at hand.
       So. What next? I have so many dreams piled up in my heart, and yet I know most of them will be thought of fondly and then put aside for later. I have already had to chose between dreams, and I have come to terms with it. But...I still dream of being able to follow all my dreams. What's going to happen? Where will the Lord take me? I can say with an excited whisper, "I...don't...know." I'm just a fledgling, with wings not yet tried, still clinging to a branch and looking out onto the most beautiful thing--the world spread beneath my feet. But soon, very soon, I'll feel the wind on my face, lifting under my wings, and I'll fly to places I've never dreamed of. With a guiding hand in my own, loving family gathered around me, and friends to share in my escapades, I sit on that branch. Turns out, it holds more scrapes and adventures that I thought.
       What Next. 
     
     

Follow-up To A Moment of Love

I wanted to add to yesterday's post, something crucial that cannot afford to be overlooked: It is not always us being "beset" by evil--sometimes we are to blame. Sometimes we act in ways that have no justification. This is crucial to understand--you cannot fix a problem until you admit you have one. Over and over in the bible, God makes it clear that humans sin of their own accord.
Perhaps something that is even more important to understand is this. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

"it is the gift of God, not a result of works." Boy, is this one a ego-crusher and bubble-burster. I know many people who would reject this completely. It has a tendency to deflate any pride I might have, which I count as a good thing. But it has taken me a long, long time to understand and fully come to embrace this. It increases my awe of God, for it says this: I loved you so much that I am giving you this gift of salvation even though you deserve punishment. God's love awes me. "And this is not of your own doing, it is the gift of God." A moment of Love.

End of Year Tribute

This year is my last at ESCHEL, the coop I've attended for about four years. Can't say I'm sorry to go. Anyway, all the 10th graders are supposed to write a little end of year note, and I liked mine so much I thought I'd post it here.

       Well, ESCHEL is almost over. That’s nothing new. But this time, it’s the last “over.” Over is for always. And I’m sad. Now, don’t get me wrong. There were those days where slowly burning my assignments in a gigantic bonfire while running around the blaze and whooping like a frustrated Indian sounded pretty good. Is there any sane highschool student who hasn't felt like that at some point between November and April? I don’t think so. But ESCHEL has helped me grow, spiritually and educationally. I've made two of the most important friendships I will ever make. I've learned how to cite APA research papers. I've learned not to puke at a fish’s fermented innards. I've learned that I can write a good essay in half-an-hour (believe me, a two years ago, that felt like walking up Mt. Everest without an oxygen tank). I can’t imagine a better preparation for my life as I enter the new, big world of college classes. So now, as I wave my hand in farewell, I can smile and look back with fondness on the memories I made, and who I am now compared to what I was then. Thank you.         

-Karly Lunda

Psalm 39:7

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

Luke 1:37

For nothing will be impossible with God.